My Glass House
Collected Agenda #34
WHAT I DID
Sunday, February 16
The rain continues turning everything muted and gray, but I am bursting with energy, and I am bursting with the feeling like myself again.
Early afternoon - the morning gentle sleet turns to a downpour.
David bought a basil plant and he put it by my flowers. Do you notice what is by the flowers, he asks. There are firehook crackers with dill and double cream for lunch. Then, a few more of the same with sliced turkey for dinner.
You could be a rock climber, if you wanted. You could be an artist in a really useless and abrasive sense, too. You could spend all your time making art and it could all just pertain to yourself. Only make the most incoherent shit imaginable, and then write some really fire press releases and float on by with that, with obfuscation and with stylish sentiments that conceal your vacancy and lack of meaning. I read an interview that snaps me out of it so quickly. The author is talking about how monks are maybe missing something. If you’re meditating all the time, then you’ve kind of lost a grip on reality. It’s enlightened, maybe, but you lose something if you go so deep into interiority that you turn off exterior reflection altogether.
If spiritual leaders have lost the plot, then so too, certainly, have I. I’m going monk mode but it’s just Playing On My Phone. I’m going monk mode but it’s just Publishing My Diaries.1
I walk to Le Dive in the evening. I talk for many hours with my brilliant friend who has much clarity in what she is actually saying when she writes. We talk about how to withhold or not withhold pieces of yourself, and she asks me something about how I reveal so much of myself without worrying about things like people who hate you, or worse, people who stalk you. It’s easy to reveal a lot of your thoughts on things like ice on the window when you have no convictions, I think. I do have some convictions, but I won’t reveal myself here.
“It’s a scary wind outside,” David says when I get home. “And we’re in this scary apartment in the sky.”
“It’s not too scary,” I say.
Monday, February 17
In my dreams last night, they take me to Spring Street Dermatology and they give me a chemical peel, microneedling, they shake me up with electrical currents and I leave feeling burned and new.
In real life, the wind is whistling even more in the morning. Bright sun, howling wind. David is starting to think about going to bed for the night just as I am waking up for the morning. David spreads orange marmalade and double cream on toast. “What a wonderful thing,” David says.
At the party at Jeans, I get a lychee martini, a cosmopolitan, a vodka soda... it's kind of gross sloshing around a nightclub on a monday night, but after I decided to stop doing things like this, I decided again, to stop hindering all my own fun.
They’ve packed us like sardines in this basement tonight, and so I don’t linger long. There is a song, a show, and it’s a good lineup of performers and I’m sorry that I didn’t really pay attention, but I was quite busy and I was sloshing around. I was talking about publishing with a famous Twitter Anon friend of a friend who I ran into at the bar, I was looking for service, I was looking for wifi, I was sitting by coat check because I hate standing at these things, I become extremely untethered standing at these, so I was sitting in the hallway, and I was missing the show.
Tuesday, February 18
Asleep by eleven, awake by six, this is all very new for me. There is such hazy blue gray sky lighting up the room through the panes of my glass roof. There is David on the terrace with a cigarette. I have a busy day today, and thank god for that. I've been waiting for momentum, and now it is here.
Erin tells me about dinner with the most beautiful girl you know. She lives only off of sponge cake, and she was nicer this time.
I’m going to read an Irish gothic novella,” I tell David.
“Wait one second,” David says. “I just want to reassure you about the plane crashes.”
The reassurance is something all about the role of the dice. The gothic novella is all about the moon and untempered desire. I wasn’t too worried about the plane crashes, really, but it is nice nonetheless to be reminded of Rationalism and Randomness. The gothic novella is supposed to be interesting because it was reinterpreted into a Lesbian Dorm Room Drama in a 2014 Web Series. The gothic novel is interesting to me, because it reads like a fairytale. I like the insularity. I, too, have been possessed by demons in my sleep.
I am going to write out my Food Diary now, because I am trying to take stock of these things: celsius, apple, peanut gomacro bar, almond gomacro bar, salmon sushi roll, some bites of David's steak with the crust piece of the baguette and then mint tea and then the dandelion tea too, before I go to sleep.
You can talk yourself in circles, but of course the only solution is to consistently live well and to consistently live in a way that you can stand behind. Such a life does not require all this talk talk talk on the topic.
Wednesday, February 19
I do not want to write you an essay about what happened. I want instead, to write you a story about the parts I made up.
After class and then after lunch, and then after a few other things, because there were a few other things, it is not like I did nothing, but the momentum didn’t really last. After just these few things, there is the space heater and the protein bar and the playing on my godforsaken phone and the rereading of all the fairytales, Carmella, The Wind Boy, I have all these hazy spring stories on my mind.
I like the photographs Natasha took of me. In these photographs, I am in my room, and I feel like myself. I think I look like myself, too, and this has never happened before, not really at least, never in a photograph, or at least not since I was very young.
It is only seven in the evening. It's not too late to run outside in crystal dusk.
WHAT YOU SHOULD DO
Tuesday, February 25
From 6pm - 8pm at Hauser & Wirth 18th Street: ‘Dieter Roth. Islandscapes’ opens. I like the looks of this - “Featuring a selection of graphic works, monoprints, multiples and unique pieces spanning from the early 1960s to 1975, ‘Islandscapes’ focuses on Dieter Roth’s printmaking, which accompanied every phase of his life and practice.”
From 7pm — DreamBabyPress writing club returns with guest host Lili Anolik. As of last night, there were a few tickets left. I’m not sure about the current state of affairs, because these events are the talk of the town, but worth trying your luck.
From 7pm - 11pm at 629 E 6 ST — Psychic Readings hosts a film series. $10 suggested donation.
From 9:30pm at Metrograph — I want to go to the screening of Mulholland Drive. Honestly, it’s rare that I really love a film, and so for the special ones, I consider it vital to view in theater whenever possible.
From 9pm in the Lower East Side (dm @Jackiearielle for location) — Painters Pool returns. A weekly party for painters and friends, Tuesday in New York and Thursday in LA. Gather your painter friends - that's your ticket in.
From 11pm - 3am — KikiKramer is hosting at Paul’s Cocktail Lounge (weekly event)
Wednesday, February 26
From 6pm - 8pm at David Peter Francis — ‘Adriana Ramic. Beetle’ opens. A solo exhibition ‘influenced by machine learning, computational ephemera, non-human cognition, and linguistics.’
From 7pm at Littlefield (635 Sackett St) — Stage Break presents “a new reading series where everyone reads” — ft Ira Madison III, Isle McElroy, Anika Jade Levy, and Stephanie Wambugu. Hosted by Mikey Friedman. RSVP here.
From 7:30pm - 10pm at Brooklyn Center for Theatre Research — Vanya on Huron Street reopens. I’ve heard only wonderful things about this production, and I’m glad to say I will finally be in attendance at this production.
From 11pm - 3am — Cassidy Grady is hosting Paul’s Cocktail lounge in celebration of irlhannahmontana.
Thursday, February 27
From 6pm - 8pm — OCD Chinatown presents Michel Auder’s Cleopatra (1970, 126 minutes), standing “as an iconoclastic gesture against dogmatic systems of cinema and its genres”
Doors @ 7PM, event @ 8PM at 8 St. Marks Place — The Nonschool presents a live recording of 1 storypod. Sean Thor Conroe, Michael Bible, and Harold Rogers discuss Faulkner.
From 10pm — It’s Girls Night at Jeans (but boys are welcome too). Donna Francesca to open with Mona Matsuoka to close
From 11pm - 3am — LEG5 is hosting at Paul’s Casablanca. Big week for clubbing. I used to have the drive for clubbing, but now I don’t. However, I am currently working on a piece about the drive for nightlife in NYC, and also, I feel like I should go out in unhinged ways as much as possible before I turn 25 years old. All of this is to say, I plan to go to the club a lot this week. See you there.
Friday, February 28
From 9am (online) — The Global Decadence Lab presents a virtual roundtable with the writers of Neo-Decadence. RSVP for Zoom link here.
From 7pm - 9pm at Tibet House — Michele Loew and Arjun Bruggeman host a weekend workshop: The Clearlight of Falling Asleep & Dream. I adore the programming at Tibet House, and as World’s Worst Sleeper, I hope to be in attendance.
From 7pm at Trans Pecos — Bonzo presents a fabulous lineup. Performances by Lea Jaffe, Governor Vomit, and Anastasia Coope.
From 7pm at 158 W 23rd (Hearsay) — Kiki Kramer, Wolfie2000, and Kat Marcella perform. Hosted by Elisa Rose, Nina Rezz, Dylan Constable, and more.
From 8pm at The Woods (1826 Palmetto Street Queens, NY) — Athens Theatre Group Presents a rendition of Stephen Belber’s TAPE (1999). Directed by Frederick Rivera, featuring Page Garcia, Dillon Savage, Patrick Sturm, and more.
From 8pm — Tweaker Gospel DJ’s the last ever 185 E Broadway event.
From 8pm - 1am at Honey’s — Friend Of The Letter Vivein Lee hosts COSMOPOLITAN: a dance party in support of local nonprofit Make the Road New York. Other hosts include Alexi Alario of Nymphet Alumni, Alyssa Davis, Fiona Duncan, Ani Tatintsyan, and Kit Zauhar. I’ve been meaning to revisit Honey’s since artist Sarah Mehoyas took over ownership, and this seems like the perfect occasion. Music by Goop Girl, Miho Hatori, and more. Snacks by Sakura Smith, the coolest list of hosts, etc etc etc.
Saturday, March 1
From 12pm - 6pm at HEART — Crazy looking closet sale. So good!! 20+ sellers. Every good brand there is.
From 3pm - 5pm at 115 Bowery — Fuzhou Sisters host a Qinghong tasting, accompanied by an introduction to the history of qinghong and snack and dessert pairings. Tickets available here.
From 7pm at Pianos — Uncensored New York presents Absolute Divinity album release party, ft Joslyn Crocco, Smith Taylor, Sacred, and No Boundary. Herbal remedies by Beck Iasillo.
From 8pm at EARTH — Downtown noise trio Dissensus celebrates album release, with Asha Sheshadri, Callahan’s Wish, and Ideal Guest. Visuals by Hen Hilt.
From 10pm at Carpark at SAA — Devil’s Workshop hosts a “Features” - a new monthly series the first Saturday of each month celebrating Brooklyn’s hip hop roots.
From 10pm - 4am at Nublu — Orsen, Dennis Free, and Donna Francesca host a pajama party. Rolling out of bed and going straight there is highly encouraged. Pillows are also encouraged.
Sunday, March 2
From 7pm at KGB Theater — I will be reading something NEW and WEIRD at Confessions!!! I am chagrin to promote anything ELSE tonight, because I really want you all to be there. However, it is, indeed, a busy night. I understand you must pick wisely.
From 6pm at Night Club 101 (the only club where anything is happening these days) — An insane lineup of hosts celebrate an open bar panel discussion, oscar watch party, and dance party fundraiser for NYC mayoral candidate Zohran Mamdani. Hosts / sponsors include Whitney Review, Amelia Ulman, Ser Serpas, Kaitlin Phillips, Chapo Trap House, and more. Panel discussion includes Joshua Citarella, Aria Dean, and more. This will be amazing.
From 7pm at KGB Red Room — Ethics celebrates issue 03 release with readings and performances from megsupertarprincess, alice aster, siena foster-soltis, chloe wheeler, and more.
From 7pm at Earth — A first reading of ‘The Wolf is an Endangered Species’ by Conchata Ferrell (1973) and Sam Anderson (2025) feat. Sam Anderson, Whitney Claflin, Andrea Fourchy, Sadaf H. Nava, and Valentina Vaccarella.
David says: “reading this I do start asking "what is wrong with this girl? What happened? Things seemed great in the last one”
the most helpful agenda in the world for a girl who just found out she'll be in new york this weekend.
Monk mode af